V-LISHOUS LIFE

Posted at 03:27 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

location: in front of the laptop

mood: excited

music: Coruscating by John Surman

OK, I'm digging the fact that Obama won and America's political process has redeemed it self, well sort of. I wonder now just how long it will take the "winners" to realize that winning wasn't the goal of this election?  It is the necessity of change..... Americans want change for the better, not to prove that one political party is better than another.

I hope that there will soon be bipartisanship coming from both sides of the isle in congress as well as in the senate. Am I dreaming?? Can this really happen. If President elect Obama can be believed, then,

YES WE CAN.

This does have a nice ring to it, YES...... WE..... CAN !

It is my hope that the gloating will take a back seat, that there will not be ill will, that people will realized it is exactly like Rev Martin Luther King said, I have a dream that a man will be jugded by the content of his character and not by the color of his skin.

We have set our feet upon the path of working toward a better America, I have the same dreams.

Posted at 03:15 pm | Link | Leave a comment | 1 comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Posted at 05:28 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

location: lying in bed

mood: amused

music: EST "Seven Days of Falling"

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Tags: family, questions, relationships

Posted at 10:30 pm | Link | Leave a comment | 2 comments | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Posted at 01:08 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

location: holed up

mood: pissed off

Do you seriously think death is the end of life?  That by offing yourself you got all your problems solved?

Yeah, life sucks at times, but why didn't you want to figure out what went wrong and try to change it?  Correct your mistakes.  Re-think some of your values.  Figure out how to get to where you wanted to be!

Life is about correcting your trajectory!  By making adjustments you could have altered your path, maybe gotten closer to understanding why you were where you were.  Instead you just headed to your self-destruction.

Committing suicide was such a cowardly thing to do.  An admission that you couldn't or wouldn't handle life.

Why when anyone talked to you did you not tell them, tell us, tell me?  Did you think so little of us and yourself to think that friends wouldn't help you?

I am saddened beyond belief that you were such a coward, that you would leave your boys behind, that you didn't trust us enough, that you didn't believe us when we offered ourselves in friendship. 

NO ONE IS REALLY ALONE.  We think we are, but there is always someone out there who wants to help, wants to share the journey, wants us to understand what friendship is and does for another human being.

I am so royally PISSED OFF that you wouldn't, or thought you couldn't, let anyone in, let anyone help you, let anyone succor or give you ease.  We as friends were here to help you fight your demons, your battles, your enemies.  But you refused to see us, denied us and our ability to love you, and that is your crime against us and partly why I am so pissed.  Your denial of our friendship is a very deep cut, one that we will recover from, but we will be left with something missing.

In the end it was your choice.  And having made your choice you leave this life behind, your boys without a mother, your friends alone.  If I could get you back for just one day and know what you had planned I would have convinced you to live until your body was so old it couldn't possibly take another step, watch your grandchildren grow, to change things, to accept things, to love.

I would have told you that you needed to squeeze every last drop out of this life, not let it just run down the drain of existence.

Tags: community awareness, death, fami, friendship, life, suicide

Posted at 09:38 am | Link | Leave a comment | 2 comments | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

location: the other side

mood: pensive

music: tin hat trio

Balance:  Stability produced by even distribution, 2) equipoise between two contrasting or opposing elements 3) an esthetically pleasing integration of elements 4) a means of judging or deciding 5)  physical equilibrium.

Is there really balance in our lives? I believe we THINK there is balance but in essence we are all really swinging wildly with our individual pendulums.  Some times we get lucky and our pendulums swing in sinc with others and we make friends, find lovers.  Sometimes our pendulums crash into others and we create sparks, hard feelings or downright serious dislike.

We don't actually control our lives, not like we can control the music we listen to or the tv program we watch.  We can only do our best to right wrongs, live in harmony, keep our minds open, teach our kids, but in essence we don't CONTROL anything.  And that leaves us wondering about the balance in our lives.  If we do this, then that will happen, hopefully.   Think about the last anal retentive you ran into, did you control that interaction?  No because we can't control anyone, we can only interact, decide to stay or walk away. But control?  I can't control the fact that my brother is an asshole I can only accept the fact and decide not to deal with him except when I absolutely have to and this is the balancing act of life.  The choice to keep my interaction to a minimum is my balance.

So is balance about the choices we make?  Absolutely.  I know I am always trying to balance my time, my energy, my money, my kid and it is an ongoing process that probably won't end with my physical death.  So my choices are important to the quality of my time on earth and beyond.

Think about what choices you make and why you make them.   The choices we made have created the past we look back on and leave us where we are today.  Is it balanced by good and bad choices, probably, I know mine is.
 

Tags: family, life, wtf? balance

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Posted at 10:22 pm | Link | Leave a comment | 6 comments | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

location: still here

mood: mischievous

music: Paul Simon

Tags: i'm worth

Posted at 02:49 pm | Link | Leave a comment | 4 comments | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

location: right here for now

mood: contemplative

music: Mozart

Where do we go from here?  I'm pondering this question because this past week I've gone through a friend losing her Mother, which made me think of my own Mother who will be gone from "here" for 10 years this year.

Thinking about leaving I'm wondering again, what's next, because I don't believe that we get off so easy with just a dirt nap........ PERIOD...... the end........ nothing else will happen.  I think this is wishful thinking for many people, because WHAT HAPPENS ON EARTH, BABY, STAYS ON EARTH.  As if there isn't any consequences for our actions in life.

In the greater cosmos that is our universe I believe there is another plane, not an alternative universe, as some believe, but a continuance, cyclical, a revolving door, if you will, for our essence, our spiritual or moral force to travel here and back again.  Do I believe in reincarnation, certainly.  Why? because if you believe in yourself as more than flesh and blood, then you believe in a higher power.  A power that we are responsible to for how we have lived our lives.  Consequences!

If you believe in heaven as a place, I don't buy that either.  Heaven as most "God fearing" individuals believe is where we go to worship a deity for eternity if we've been good. Somehow I can't believe that the deity would want our all consuming, enthralled, abasing love.  I believe the deity would want us to aspire to a higher level of goodness then groveling at the foot of it's throne. (Sorry I just can't decide if a deity is a mono-
sexual  being or incorporates all sexual attributes in itself).

If you're with me so far the next question is how do we attain the higher level of awareness of being good?  Through trials? tribulation? an awareness of how to acknowledge "the opposite of good" without contributing to it?  I would suggest that in order for one to become enlightened and good will take more than a single go-round on this earth.  I know I would never make it into a christian heaven for my thoughts alone, and yes I have evil thoughts sometimes and have wished ill to others, did I repent these thoughts?  Not always and this would preclude me from entering those pearly gates.  But since I believe I will get another to chance to perfect my spiritual force by coming back to earth to correct my transgressions, then I am willing to acknowledge that I do require much improvement before I could do more than grovel.

How many trips will it take to make all the corrections necessary for me to achieve more than groveling status?  Probably many more than I am currently aware of, but I don't hesitate to acknowledge I will ultimately achieve an enlightened state because the alternative doesn't bear contemplating.  What would that be?

NOTHING, absolute nothing,  nonexistence, Existentialism to the power of N(othing). 

There is a Pink Floyd song that starts out with a child's voice saying "If you're good, you'll go on forever, but if you're bad then you just die when you die."  I can't put it any more succinctly than that.

So . . . . . where are you going from here?

Tags: belief, death, god, reincarnation, religion, spiritual

Posted at 12:40 pm | Link | Leave a comment | 19 comments | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Posted at 12:30 pm | Link | Leave a comment | 2 comments | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

location: the land of artistic endevors

mood: mellow

Well, interesting Friday night out.  Six of us women got together to drink a few and discuss ... well everything.  We covered kids, work, men, clothes, shoes, men, the neighborhood, movies, men, partying and yep, men again.  Two women are married, two have significant others that live together most of the time and two of us are single, one happily so (that would be me) and one not so happily.

As we talked the subject of older men vs younger men came up.  Half of us believe that age really isn't important, the other half said they would NEVER date a man more than 2 years younger than themselves.  I found this quite interesting,  Men don't seem to have age as any kind of barrier to who they would date, older or younger. But, yeah, mostly younger.

Ok, so my question is why is there such a taboo about older women with younger men?

One of the women in our group is 50 and she is dating a man who is 33.  They're both divorced.  He has two boys, she has a grown daughter.  He's VERY comfortable with their being together, indeed, I feel he's more than comfortable as he's taken her to meet his Mom and Dad and YOU KNOW that's rather a big deal.  But the women is sometimes unsure, uncomfortable and nervous about A G E. 

We had a little private time convo about this very fact while doin' the bathroom trip all of us women do when out, and I was surprised, to say the least: "I don't want to be with him in10 years, I'll be SIXTY for god sakes."  I replied, "Yeah, and he'll be 43, so?"  She proceed to tell me she didn't want him to have to push her around in a wheelchair when she was "too old."   I could only ask "Are you two happy together?"  "Yes, we are, and the sex is GREAT, but what if I miss MR RIGHT?"

Stupid of me to think people got together because they wanted to be together, not because they were afraid of being alone.

So how much is to old?  Men in their 60's date women in their 20's and really not much is said but if a women in her 60's dated a man in his 20's I'm pretty sure everyone would have something to say.  Me personally, I would date a man younger than me if we clicked because I don't believe "chronological" really has anything to do with who you are as a person.

Whddaya Think?

Tags: age, belief, dating

Posted at 06:21 am | Link | Leave a comment | 4 comments | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

location: the gully of pissed ott

mood: bitchy

music: Russian Classical piano

Have you ever heard of selective tourette's, well I have it!  Yes, I just can't seem to keep myself from being, what some folks would classify, as being "politically incorrect."  Others may believe that I don't have any kind of filter between my mouth and my brain.  No, seriously, this isn't the case.  I'm telling you the truth and that's what friends are for.  Yes, your friends love you, but should they love you so much they won't tell you when you're full of shit or that the new love interest in your life is a suck-ass low life?

When I was growing up we were taught to tell the truth and if the truth hurt someone, it was sad, but not so sad that you couldn't say how you felt about something.

I always thought that it was a very good thing to tell the truth but apparently I'm WWWWAAAAYYYY behind the political times.  Whyzat you ask?  Well it just seems that every time I turn around Billary is making some asinine remark.  The most recent thing was she "accused" Obama  of merely using "Words" to sway the Democrats. . . .  W T F??  'cuse me, but isn't that how one gets their ideas across to people,  ya know talking, with words, during speech-making opportunities??

I have so wanted to be able to vote for a woman president, but Billary has, by GIANT leaps and bounds become such a LIEability.  Before long she will be disgracing not only herself, but us as well.  Women please stand up and tell Billary to straighten her ass up, start talking like the women she (hopefully) is and stop trash-talking her opponent.

Let's get back to the issues, tell us what you want to accomplish if you are elected, I don't fucking care how you feel about your opponent!  I want to know how you feel about America, what we need to do to get our shit in one sock again and what you think you can do to make it happen.

But, hey, that's just my opinion.  Tell me how you really feel!

Tags: life, political banter, seriously

Posted at 12:13 pm | Link | Leave a comment | 1 comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

location: the lions maw

mood: curious

music: Tin Hat Trio

I've just read a post from my friend and she used a term that I must confess I hadn't heard in a very long time.
Mystical negro!  Which of course got me thinking again about why we are NOT different.

I was asked once if I was prejudiced, being from Charleston, South Carolina, and I replied, why yes, I have many prejudices, stupidity is probably my biggest, then there is slovenliness, laziness, being a liar, being abusive physically, verbally or mentally didn't matter.  But I was interrupted in my tirade with another question, do I hate black people?  My reply was what the fuck does the color of someone's skin have to do with who they are?

I was raised by a Momma who believed we were all the same.  We lived in a multiracial neighborhood, and I mean MULTI, hispanic, black, white, mulatto, we were all just peeps living on the same block and if any of the kids got outta hand whoever's Momma was there was the one that ruled the roost.

I love that my Momma taught me to see beyond the surface of a person.  Heart and head is what makes up everyone and that is the only gauge that should be used to measure who a person is.

I've worked in hospitals for most of my working life.  Surrounded by the best educations money could buy, I would never have guessed that I would be reported for insubordination by a physician because I answered his question:  Where's the colored girl?  My reply was what color do you want?  He reported me to the administrator of the hospital and the next day the administrator, who was from Scotland, came to see me to find out why I said what I said to the surgeon.  My answer was simple, my Momma raised me to respect everyone as a person.

So tell me, what do you believe?

Tags: belief, brothers and sisters, universality

Posted at 04:26 pm | Link | Leave a comment | 6 comments | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

location: propped up in front of my computer

mood: amused

music: continum John Mayer

Niiiiiice:

Posting one's thoughts for the world to share. 

This is anonymous and exciting because no one knows WTF you are really thinking.

Okaaay, I'm thinking why would anyone want to read the stuff that pours outta my head like Morton's?  Maybe just a chance to connect with like-minded individuals in the hopes of sharing thoughts, attitudes, desires.  Making connections in space with the hope of making connections in the real world.  "Risque" business, but humans seem to have this need for interpersonal relationships, true?

So if anyone reads this and feels like making a connection in cyberspace, I'm for it, message me, but don't mess with me.

Jools

Tags: hello, meet and greet

Posted at 11:17 pm | Link | Leave a comment | 1 comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend